Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
