it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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