I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
