Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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