Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Every concussion has its silver lining
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
