i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Who died my cat blue again?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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