You can't motorboat a personality
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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