I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I am mentally ready for anal.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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