i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
