and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
So much rum. So many feels.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
