I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
