We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
