6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
