As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
