My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i wish my penis had a tongue
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
