you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
