The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
