Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
