Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
