she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Randomize
