This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
