There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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