just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
