I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
