we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
