Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
