We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
