the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
