every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
