Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm too high and old for this...
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
