Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
