tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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