i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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