I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
my poor anus
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
