I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
