I feel like abortions should bother me more
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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