I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
