Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
