Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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