Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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