Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
