i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
