I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
