as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
