it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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