One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
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