I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
jump out the window naked night went bad
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
