Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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