He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
