It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
