I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
