Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
