We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
